August 12, 2013

Why the Zombie Apocalypse is Unsustainable

I think it is fun that the CDC has (for several years now) some information on a zombie apocalypse by trying to spin that being prepared for zombies is like being prepared for any other disaster. There is one problem I have uncovered with the the way the zombie apocalypse  is popularly presented in the media: the zombie apocalypse is UNSUSTAINABLE. Here is why: if the only way to become a zombie is to get bit or scratched, etc. by another zombie, there simply would not be a growing number of zombies. Zombies don't go around biting people and letting them continue with their daily lives; zombies try and devour your entire body. Let's say one person gets bit and gets away for every 99 that get eaten: this is UNSUSTAINABLE. I could wow you with boring facts and figures that would impress any 2nd grade statistics major, but I will just leave it to your common sense to realize that if there were zombies, they would eat themselves into equilibrium whereby their population ceases to grow after a finite point in time. Now please note for all of you screaming out there that this does not apply to the Walking Dead TV show (whose writers must agree with my summation) since in that show, everyone is infected with the virus and when they die (unless it is a bullet or sharp object to the brain) they reanimate into zombies. Image is courtesy of Centers for Disease Control and our taxpayer dollars. Poor punctuation above is courtesy the B&WE.
cover of cdc novella about zombies