Ex-Pirates New-Nationals Fan Manifesto

Dear Childhood Team,

I didn't want it to come to this. We had some good times together, including the early 90's when I felt sure we would at least be in the championship series. You have a lineup from that time that I can still recite to this day. Inexplicably, we put in a reliever in a bad match-up do-or-die game and lost a heart breaker, with me nearly breaking my fist on a bookshelf because it was past my bedtime and was listening on the radio. No matter, I thought, there would be plenty more chances to come. Instead, the team broke up, and here we are, 20 years later and no winning record? Is that possible. Yes, although I initially blamed it on baseball's flawed free agency system and the fact that big market teams get all the best players. I stopped watching all the teams as a form of punishment to a league that I felt abandoned its roots. That is somewhat true, but cannot explain the true futility that 20 losing seasons represents. Even when I moved away, I kept defending and rooting for you when there was little reason to. This season was the last straw. A stretch run that quashed hopes of playoffs, and then a winning season that would have finally ended the jokes. Well, I've found someone new. At first it was just a local thing, you know, being able to see the games and what not. In fact, they were as hapless as you at first. But then it got serious and they got better. They are exciting and make me love the game again. I am sorry. This is the worst and best thing for the both of us. I have to get on with my life. Yesterday, I had to look up what a division winner was, as I hadn't heard that term in some time. My children will be taught to love this team as I loved you. When the grow up, they can decide whom they love and for what reasons. I will still look at your box scores and wish you well if we pass on the street. However, in a head to head match-up, my loyalties will be on the other side. Thanks for everything - Your Former Fan. (UPDATE: of course the Pirates would make the playoffs in 2013 and the Nationals would falter; what am I, from Cleveland?)

Construction Paper Landscape Scene

Construction paper is definitively where my kid excels when it comes to art because her dad was very good with it as well. 

Grade School Ski Art

There was a good year in grade school when I was obsessed with neon construction paper. I used to steal it from class and my teacher finally gave me a catalog to order some of my own (I just got better at hiding the paper since I didn't have a credit card at the time, unless you count AMEX). This was also the year that I went skiing for the first time, got a concussion, and puked the whole ride home. Needless to say, my obsession with neon construction paper and skiing did not last through to present times, but I do have this sweet illustration of both memories that I think I made in second grade? I should have used some cotton for the top of his hat. Dang. And probably colored his eyes. Shoot.

Pencil Art Boat

Art class. Those were the days. I could never draw anything at all, but I could copy the crap out of something else. This was in a magazine probably, and I just took it and pencil sketched that boat until you thought you were practically on it. That was, until you saw the pencil blob that is supposed to be the dude driving (captaining?) the boat. He has very little personality, or was just burned to a crisp. My Achilles heel: drawing anything living.

Wine Cork Sun Face

People like to find all types of things to build out of used corks. Problem is, they are not the best building material. This is probably the best I have seen, though where do you get yellow wine corks? Turns out even the French are switching to screw caps because 1) cork is a finite resource like helium, 2) it is just better at keeping wines from going bad and robbing liquor stores. Synthetic corks supposedly have their problems as well.